From irrelevance to relevance
And back again
I float in a sea of unending fluidity
Constantly being rocked by neuronal signals
Chemical neurotransmitters followed by electrical impulses
And back again
Firing randomly
As per plan
And sometimes without one
I begin to wonder
Who is really leading who
Who is the real master
And where does my ‘I’ ness begin
And end
Whether I am just a mere slave
To the vagaries of nature
Evolutionary, perhaps
But who knows
Where the answer lies
Till doomsday arrives
And even after
There may be no real answer

Subir Chakraborty
19th July 2023

My brain houses a plethora of black boxes
Cellular in construction
All distinct and unique in character
Other than the central character ‘I’
Which forms the nucleus of each cell
Otherwise separated from each other
With impregnable membranes
Consuming precious energy for sustenance
Needing a flood of blood to stay afloat
Refusing to budge, to dilute, to sway
To play any game, any other way

The only vulnerability, the only weakness
Is through the nucleus, its very identity
Which needs to be annihilated
To rip open these cells
And free the brain of garbage
To feel the gushing air
Of the open blue sky
Welcoming one and all
To rejuvenate in the sea of freshness
And breathe the aroma of vastness
Never to sink again to the depths of putrefaction
Of repetitive earthly decadence
But to build for oneself
One’s little nest in the sky
And to be free
For now and forever

Subir Chakraborty 2nd July 2023

Have you ever felt the urge
Not to speak
Not to see
Not to think
Or to touch

Only just to feel
The vibrations of sunrise
And the nostalgia of sunset
The lazy rhythm of meandering streams
And the silent tiptoeing of dew

For it is through feelings
That you can attain completeness
Devoid of your thoughts
Devoid of turbulence
Devoid of suffering

For it is through feelings alone that you can experience
The pain of birth
And the rejuvenation of death
And be blissfully free, now and forever

Subir Chakraborty
23rd April 2023

The sky extends beyond my knowledge
Beyond my vision
Beyond my being
Beyond my imagination

What is it I seek
From the limitless sky
What can I gather
With my limited mind

Looking up above
I see it is serene blue
And yet I am told
It is all a dark hue

Sheer vacant space
Without any colour
Emptiness surrounds
Without any flavour

I exist in sheer bliss
With an illusory sky
Thinking it is real
From reality I shy

Do I really know
If my body has a base
Or is it just an illusion
Created by space

Giving it a shape
I love so dear
Holding on to a mirage
And forever in fear

Subir Chakraborty / 20th March 2018

Where shells are raining
And decibels are rising
Blazing tanks, automatics, grenades
Singeing the horizon in flashes
Shattering the sky with explosions, shouts, mayhem
Drying the hapless eyes of their tears
Old men, young men, old women, young women
Innocent children, the toddlers, the unborn
Wondering the whys and the whynots
Asking relentless questions
While remaining clueless about the hows
As they go about their lives
With clogged minds and blank stares
While the world debates
Routine engagements, mindless semantics, picturesque settings
Aid, arms, assistance, assurance, deterrence
More arms, more aid, more of conflict
While she stays cooped up in her shelter
Shielding her children who know not
What has suddenly befallen them
Why their lives have become half-lives
Why the half-lives are decaying slowly
Ever so painfully
Into the swirling depths of a giant maelstrom
While she scrounges around for the next meal
And looks heavenwards for that elusive god
Who has forsaken her, them
Amidst the chaos and din and mindful destruction
And the smell of sweat, fear and death
While praying fervently, silently
Not to any god but to her own steely resolve
To find the strength to survive one more hour
With some luck one more day
And then perhaps days, maybe months
And develop the courage to hold on even if by a slender thread
And to dare to hope

Subir Chakraborty
26th Feb 2023

When grief cries out in pain
And breaches the threshold
When trauma torments ceaselessly
And desperation sets the tone

When solace and sympathy
Aggravates your state
When misfortune and misery
Come in a spate

It is time to look inwards
Time to turn a leaf
Time to treat your agony
As chaff to wheat

Your body and mind
Is not the you or your threshold
What you are, lies much deeper
In the fabric of your soul

Where peace and tranquility
Reign perennially supreme
Where trials and tribulations
Are ripples to a stream

Where hardship and adversity
Are welcome guests
Helping you to evolve
And turn in your best

Subir Chakraborty / 23rd Feb 2018

The space separating the couple
Was no longer the same
No longer imbued with tender glances
No longer habituated with long lost habit

It reeked of a sense of loss
Laced with nostalgia at the outer edges
Crowded with what ifs, and only ifs
Insulated from the excitement of wild spontaneity

As if it had a life of its own
Distinct from the two individuals
It was destined to connect
Or disconnect, depending on its fancy

Moving across different sets of couples
Causing intrigue, anxiety, apprehension
Conniving, plotting, crafty at the fringes
Planning its next move artfully, playfully

Subir Chakraborty
9th Feb 2023

When the youness in you seemingly disappears
And dreams of mingling with the Iness in me
Do you cease to exist
Or do I

Or do we coexist in parallel lanes
Trying hard to maintain our individuality
While welcoming this diffusion
Riding on the wave of transition

While we play the game of pretensions
Trying to delude ourselves
Creating an illusion of bonding, unification
Dismembering ourselves, detaching ourselves from our moorings

While keeping our respective identities hidden
In a state of forced hibernation
Waiting to be unleashed when least expected
On the canvas of confused emotions

For the island in us
Needs to be cocooned, protected, sheltered
For the ego to exist and to bloom
For the Iness and youness to flourish lifelong

Subir Chakraborty
30th Dec 2022

My aspirations go beyond the limits
Way above the ordinary
For what I truly aspire
Is limitless, without a boundary

What is the point of an aspiration
If constrained within a limitation
What is the point of that daring
If confined within a jurisdiction

The playfully gushing air
And the mountains with their soaring cliffs
Beckon me to dream ceaselessly
With the song of freedom on my lips

Without a challenging aspiration
I may still exist within a code
Living the life of an amoeba
On the bank of a deserted shore

But to experience life in all its facets
I must be willing to gain height
Like the Bald Eagle in the Grand Canyon
Awesome in its majestic flight

Subir Chakraborty / 28th April 2018

I carry my heaven with me
In my mind, in my heart, in my very own being
In happiness and in unbounded ecstasy
In agony and in the depths of misery

In the sweet music of the birds
In the melodious ululations of the leaves
In the warm embrace of the evening zephyr
In the quietude of the tiptoeing twilight

In the doom of deepening despair
In the loss of my sweetest memories
In letting go of all that I have ever cherished
In the death of each treasured instant

My heaven is ever moving, ever evolving
Where I am only a mere traveller
Enjoying each moment enriched by life
Enshrined and embellished with rare beauty and love

Subir Chakraborty
1st Nov 2022